Today is Easter. I love Easter, but like all other holidays, my expectations are too high. Let me tell you what my plans for this weekend were: I expected that Friday my family and I were going to be well on our way to Nebraska. I expected to be in our pick-up, loaded down with two kids, two dogs, our luggage, Easter goodies, and a bunch of straw in the back of the pick-up in preparation to bring home 4-H pigs. I was looking forward to cooking with my mom, and joking around with my “little” brother, and visiting with my sister-in-law about raising busy little boys and sweet little girls, and early morning coffee with my dad where we would discuss weather and calving and such. I couldn’t wait to see the baby calves and the new litter of Borgi puppies that my mom’s dog, Maddy, just delivered. I was expecting to have a wonderful Easter with my family. I anticipated Sunday morning Easter services at the little cowboy church that my family attends.

What I did not expect is that a spring snow- storm would hit Buffalo, or that Kade would throw up all over me the night before we were to leave. I didn’t expect that on Friday I would be cleaning up and disinfecting from the flu bug that he brought home from daycare and not driving to Nebraska. Or that Mike would be so overwhelmed with work and we wouldn’t be able to make the pig sale that we were planning on going to on our way to Grandpa and Grandma’s.

The thing about expectations is that they often lead to disappointment. I struggle with high expectations, having a picture in my mind of the way that things should go, and then being disappointed when they don’t turn out that way. I know that I’m not alone in this struggle. I’m sure that there are plenty of Courageous Mommies out there who have those unrealistic expectations that their kids are going to behave beautifully in the grocery store or the restaurant and not throw tantrums. Or how about the expectation that we can leave for a weekend away with the girls and come back to a clean and peaceful home? And then there’s the high expectation of our husbands walking through the door with a bouquet of flowers, kissing us passionately, telling us that they have called a baby sitter and are taking us out to dinner. Yep, we have a load of high expectations that are bound to lead to a pile of disappointment if we allow it to.

During my quiet time the other day I spent some time really pondering the Crucifixion and what exactly it meant, to Jesus, to his disciples, to his enemies, and to me. Calvary is never a comfortable place for me to go to. My ponderings first took me to Palm Sunday, and the “triumphal entry” of Jesus into Jerusalem. The expectations of the disciples at this time were high. I can just imagine the feeling that was in the air as Jesus rode down the streets of Jerusalem; the crowd that day was huge because it was the Passover. There were hundreds of people crowding the streets just trying to catch a glimpse of the healer/teacher that they had heard so much about. The praising, the waving of the palm branches, the fact that the people along the street were throwing their cloaks on the ground in front of the donkey Jesus was riding in honor of “their King”. The expectation was that Jesus was going to take his rightful place as their National leader and He was going to restore the people of Israel to their former glory.

And then later on in the week they meet in an upper room for the Passover supper, what we now know was Jesus’ last supper with the disciples. I believe that these men were expecting a celebration where Jesus would reveal His plans for His kingdom. I think that they had one focus and one focus only, who was going to be standing right beside Jesus and gaining the most glory. They had an argument amongst each other over who was going to be Jesus’ right hand man in this new government. What they didn’t expect was that Jesus would speak of betrayal and denial and death. They didn’t expect Jesus to get down on His knees to wash their feet, He was to be their King for crying out loud, and here He was acting like one of the servants.

Later that night Jesus takes a couple of them to the Garden of Gethsemane, He is overwrought at what is before Him. He needs His friends to stand beside Him, not for words of encouragement, but just for the comfort of their presence, to know that He wasn’t alone yet. They didn’t expect that Jesus would need them that much, that He would agonize to the point of sweating blood, so they fell asleep. And then when the soldiers came to arrest Jesus, they expected a fight. Swords were drawn, blood was drawn and what did Jesus do? He told them to put their weapons away and he healed the enemy. That was unexpected.

They didn’t expect their leader to be arrested, tried and sentenced to death by crucifixion, the death of a rebel or a slave, not of a king. All the while Jesus never once defended Himself. They didn’t expect the torture or the mocking. They didn’t expect that at the end they would desert him, leaving another to help Jesus carry His cross. No, none of this was what they had expected when they began following Jesus, they expected a leader, a warrior, someone who would fight fiercely to free them from the rule of Rome. Jesus did none of this. No, Jesus died on that cross; and along with His death the disciples felt that all of their hopes and dreams had died as well. Their expectations were destroyed and nothing would ever be the same. They were so right.

Because then comes the tomb. Talk about not meeting expectations! By now the followers of Jesus had no expectations at all, in fact they were as low as they had probably ever been. Their expectation was that the enemy had won, Jesus was dead and whatever it was that they thought they had been working towards was finished. The future looked bleak and hopeless. That first Easter morning, when those two women went to Jesus' grave they did not expect to see the stone rolled away and the tomb empty, they didn't expect to hear the news that Jesus was not dead but alive. Alive!! This exceeded any and all of their expectations. And what had seemed like the bleakest and darkest of days, soon turned into the most glorious of days!

This is how He works in my life too. He exceeds my expectations in more ways than I can even begin to describe. I never expected to be so overwhelmed in my love for Jesus and His love for me that it would take my breath away at times. I never expected to know a peace and a joy that goes far beyond whatever the World might offer me. I never expected to be so addicted to His Word that some mornings I wake up at 4:00 so that I can be immersed in it, wanting to know more and more about this Man who gave everything for me. I never expected to feel so deeply for the hurting and the lost that God has put in my path. I never expected redemption in my own life. I never expected Jesus to give everything for me. But He did, and because of this, all of the other expectations that I have are nothing. The thing that I have realized is that my expectations don’t come anywhere close to what it is that the Lord has in mind for my life. I don’t ever want to forfeit what He wants for me because of what my own plans are. Because of Him I am able to put aside all of these expectations and just be. Just be available for whatever adventure it is that God has for me.

This weekend my adventure included taking care of a sick little boy, dying Easter eggs with my family, making the decision that Hannah is going to show market lambs & a heifer instead of pigs this year, and an Easter Church service with my church family that was out of this world! High expectations can lead to so many disappointments, but Jesus never ever disappoints.

Happy Easter Everyone!!