Why?  Why do I do the things that I do?  Why do I say the things that I say?  Why do I love the things that I love?  Why do I get upset? Why do I become lighthearted and happy one minute & then let the darkness overtake me the next? Why do I stall out & get stuck?  Why do I start in the first place? Why don’t I finish? Why do I make the same mistakes over and over?  Why do I want to find balance? Why do I want to be physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually healthy? Why am I passionate about some things and not others?  What is my why??

These and a thousand other “whys” fly through my head...most often in the middle of the night when sleep eludes me.  “Why” is the word given to me for today’s Five Minute Free Write. I think that in order to find my “Why” I have to go straight to the One who gives me the “Why”, the One who gave you your “Why”.  Because God created us each so differently; no two of us are exactly the same...our whys might match up from time to time, but we are each wired individually and uniquely. God instills in each of us distinctive personalities, character qualities, bents and talents. Why does God give us each different “Whys” ...or why does He give us a different “Why” in different seasons (or heck even from one day to the next?). Because in each “Why” that He accords us He is shaping and molding us to be more like Him. He is teaching us and giving us wisdom and knowledge about His purposes and His plans. He is inviting us into the great adventure that He has written into our lives.

When I make the “Why” all about myself...in an effort to glorify myself, to fit in better, to become thinner, stronger, better, more successful, having more stuff, being more happy or admired...then the “Why” of it all pretty soon loses its mystery and beauty and sheen and it then  becomes an anxious question that cannot be answered. But when I look to Him as the foundation of all of my “Whys”, then there is no anxiety, no fretting or fearing. There is only peace in knowing that He has a plan and a purpose and He created me the way He did for a reason...to glorify Him.  My “Why” is to glorify Him in all that I do....as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend; as a writer, on the ranch, in the classroom, at church and in ministry. He is constantly teaching me more and taking me deeper into the mystery of it all, and that is my “Why”.