Roots and Wings

My Aunt Linda has a sign that has hung in her bathroom for as long as I can remember, it says something like this: "Two of the greatest gifts that we can give to our children are roots and wings." As a kid growing up and visiting my Aunt and Uncle I didn't get it.  Roots and wings?  What was the significance of giving your kids roots and wings?  I really didn't think that I would be too thrilled if my parents gave me a gift wrapped tree root for my birthday or an eagle feather in my Christmas stocking! When Mike and I got married we moved closer to my Aunt Linda and when Hannah was born it was my Aunt who watched her when I went back to work.  By that time I realized that the sign wasn't referring to literal roots and wings, but figurative ones because these are the gifts that my Mom & Dad gave to me!  If  parents raise their kids with the deep roots of faith, love, family, moral and ethical values that give children the foundation and courage they need then when the time is right they can give their children the gift of wings as they prepare to "fly the coop" and venture out on their own.  The reality of these words have never meant more to me than they have in the past year.

 Two and a half weeks ago Mike, Kade and I kissed Hannah goodbye and sent her on a bus with 19 other classmates and two teachers. They were headed to Denver and then getting on a plane and heading to Costa Rica. My 14-year-old daughter was leaving the country - without her father or I!  Trust me when I say that it took me two years to get used to the idea of her going so far away without us.  This is a trip that the Junior High 8th grade class has been doing for years.  Up to 20 kids are selected in the spring of their 7th grade year, spend a year raising the money to go and then spend about 10 days in this beautiful country studying the environment, ecology and the people.  It's an amazing opportunity for these kids, most of whom have never left the United States.  But as a parent of a 6th and even 7th grader, the idea of it is just a tad overwhelming!  Last spring we found out that Hannah had been one of the 20 kids selected to go on this huge trip.  She was beyond excited, I was beyond terrified!  Every possible scenario that had a horrible ending went through my mind; everything from the plane going down over the ocean, to her contracting some horrible sickness from the bugs and critters over there!  I even got my passport right alongside her on the off chance that she was going to need her mother to fly to Costa Rica and bring her home because she was so homesick! (ok, that might be a little bit of an exaggeration; I did get my passport just in case there was an accident or an illness that would require me to bring her home, but I knew without a doubt that she was not going to be homesick!).

 As the summer months filled up with money making activities, I began to settle down a little and really become excited for her.  I knew that the experience of visiting another country was going to be incredible, but even the process of getting there was proving to be filled with invaluable life lessons!  Like when we ordered the Costa Rican coffee that she sold.  When she had to actually pay for the coffee out of the money she had already earned she cried, not understanding why she had to fork over such a large summ of money when the whole idea was to raise it, not spend it!  A few weeks later I informed her that any coffe she sold from that point on was pure profit; that was an "aha moment"!  And she worked her little hiney off raising the $3,000 dollars needed for the trip. She cleaned yards, houses, and doggy doodoo.  She helped with parking at a soccer tournament.  She sold sandwhiches at the local IGA.  She babysat and filed for a law office.  She cleaned her Dad's office.  She cowboyed for her Grandpa.  She sold raffle tickets for a painting and her extra 4-H pig (which, by the way, was the most painful thing she did to raise funds!).  She learned the value of having a goal and making a plan to reach it.

And then there was the planning and the anticipation that consumed an entire year!  One day a few months ago out of the blue, Hannah looked at me and said, "Can you believe how incredibly blessed I am  to be 14-years-old and going out of the country with my best friends!"  Yes Hannah, it is indeed a blessing!  About a month before she left we had a parent meeting where immunizations were given, passports were checked and prescriptions for anti-malaria medication were discussed.  It became very real at that point!!

Hannah will need to share her experiences with a post and pictures sometime real soon; it was a pretty amazing adventure!  The point of my writing today is from the view point of a parent gifting her child with roots and wings.  Both are so important to the growth and maturity of our children, but it's a balance.  You can't give one and not the other, not if we want our kids to become strong members of society who will make their own way on this journey of life, influencing those who they come into contact with for the better.  If we give one without the other we will either end up with children who are strongly tied to their families and homes, but don't have the courage, self assurance and wisdom to venture out on their own.  If we give them their wings too soon then we will have children who will be bombared by a society that will eat them alive.  I think that it's such a temptation to go to the extreme one way or the other.  On one hand to try and keep our kids tied to us for as long as possible, wanting to protect them, keeping them safe from all of the scary stuff out there in the real world.  Sometimes it's with the misconception that if we keep them grounded with strong roots but no wings then we are protecting them from anything that might harm them.  But then we clip their wings and stunt their growth and keep them from all of the wonderful things that God has in store for them.  I read once that our biggest responsiblity to our children is not in keeping them safe, but in preparing them for the life that God has prepared for them, to give them the courage to figure out who they are, where they are going and what kind of an impact they are going to make in our world and for Him and His glory.  On the flip side, I see far too many kids that have been given their wings entirely too soon, before they are ready and have the knowledge and resources needed to know how to use their wings appropriately.  We see kids who are too eager to grow up and leave home and try and tackle life's responsibiities on their own.  That's a train wreck waiting to happen if you ask me.

It's a balance and I'm learning to walk that fine line.  Again, I look to God and His word to give me wisdom in knowing when to gift my children with roots, holding them back until they are ready, and when to go ahead and let them try their wings a little!  James 1:5 tells us to ask Him for wisdom whenever we want, and He will give it and not hold back!  I don't need to worry about lacking in the wisdom department, because God gives it away generously!  I am so thankful for that, and thankful for my children who are continueing to teach me these great lessons.  And thankful for parents who gifted me with roots and wings.  And thankful for the sign that still hangs in my Aunt Linda's bathroom to remind me that some of the greatest gifts that we give our kids have no price tags and require no gift wrapping!

Spring Has Sprung!

Spring is in the air, well actually spring is in the air one day and the next wind and rain and snow is in the air. Such is Springtime in Wyoming. The kids and I just spent a wonderful weekend with Mom and Dad on their new place in Lusk. Calving is going full bore on The White Ranch, babies were bounding all over the place. I love calving season, and even helped by taking the early morning heifer check; it brought back lots of memories of being out in the brisk, early morning air with just the stars to keep me company as I made my check of all these first time mamas. I always enjoyed the peace and quiet of this early morning check, but that was back when we raised Hereford cattle and they weren't at all bothered by my intrusion into their maternity ward. Not so much these crossbreed cattle that Dad now has, these girls were not at all impressed with me intruding in on them. Several times I felt the breath of a nervous heifer in my back pocket, not a very comforting feeling! The kids were ecstatic when Grandpa brought a premie calf to the house to bottle feed for a couple of days. Kade called him "Calfee", not real original, but it stuck! They loved my story of all of the babies that Dad has brought into the house over the years to thaw out in the bath tub, and especially the one that stayed for a long enough time that Grandma had to make a diaper out of a large garbage bag for him. It made for great conversation when company stopped by! The only part of calving that I'm not enjoying is night calving for Mike. It's been a long couple of months for all of us and I can't wait for this month to be over so that he'll be home every night! It sure has put some things I perspective for me though, like the fact that I am so unbelievably grateful that I don't do this parenting thing alone. I have such a greater appreciation for what single parents go through. And I have a much greater appreciation for all of the things that my amazing husband does for me. I'm going to try real hard to make sure that I tell him this more often. I am also so appreciative of the fact that my kids get to experience ranch life at it's most real; even if we're not on a ranch full time, we do get to enjoy the lifestyle and that means so much to me. So much of who I am I owe to being brought up as a ranch kid, there really is nothing like it. Our Ag kids learn good work ethics, responsibility, respect for the land and what it produces, what it means to work together as a family to accomplish a common goal, as well as how to play together as a family. Calving season is such a great example of this, along with a couple of months of running on little to no sleep! More than anything calving season is just another wonderful reminder of God's plan for our lives because it means new life. New life is at the heart of what we all are ultimately seeking, and it's found in Jesus; "I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live even though they die." John 11:25. I love that on the ranch I can see God's fingerprints everywhere!

Treasuring And Pondering It All In My Heart

"And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.  An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.  But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid.  I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.  Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.  This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.'
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying. 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.'
When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, 'Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.'
So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger.  When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them.  But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.  The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told."  Luke 2:8-20

I'm sitting in my living room this morning, enjoying the silence and peace and the lights of the Christmas tree, knowing that at any time now that silence will be broken and chaos will commense!  I love it all, the peace and quiet and the chaos of Christmas morning.  As I've had my quiet time this morning I read, meditated on and journaled these verses from Luke 2.  I think that it's my favorite part of the Christmas story.  I invision the terror and awe of the shepherds as they are visited by the angel, and then the joy as the angel's message penetrates their hearts and their heads.  They'd been waiting for the Messiah, along with every other Jewish man, woman, boy and girl.  And now they were being told that the time had come, by an angel followed by a host of angels singing and praising God.  Unbelievable, my mind can't even comprehend what it would have been like to witness such an event.

Then these humble shepherds didn't waste one minute, they immediately headed to Bethlehem to meet this  baby that the angels told them about; this baby whose birth would change the scope of history.  All that the angel had told them was true; again they wasted no time but set out at once to spread the good news, telling everyone that they met what had occurred that wondrous night.  As they shared with Mary and Joseph about their visit from the angels, and then as she watched these men leave to become what would be the world's first evangelists, she pondered all of it and treasured it in her heart.

These past few weeks I have heard a lot of people share what this holidy season means to them: "Happy holidays, Happy Kwanza, Happy Hanakuh, Merry Christmas.  Whatever the season means to you may it be filled with joy and peace and happiness."  "Christmas is about family and traditions and getting together with friends.  It's about showing kindness and compassion and generosity in a world that concerns itself with these things less and less.  It's about looking outside of yourself and helping those who are less fortunate."  All good things, all things that make you feel warm and fuzzy inside.

And then there's the frenzy that this time of year brings, the chaos and stress that it produces for so many people.  The depression, anxiety and fatigue that it means for some.  We try and do too much, there's never enough time, we panic about whether or not we got the right gifts for everyone, or if we've forgotten someone.  We shop and bake and decorate and socialize.  And at some point we've lost the sense of awe and wonder that the shepherds experienced.  Somewhere amidst the wrapping paper and bows and baked goods we've lost Jesus.  Somewhere under the tree among all of the gifts  we've forgotten the ultimate I know that there have been times during this busy season that I've lost Him.

I want to be more like the Shepherds, more like Mary.  I want to discover the baby Jesus and know the awe and wonder of who He is, why He came, what He's done for me.  And then I want to go out and spread the good news to everyone that I meet, that "God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life"; I want to share this message with the excitement and joy of the shepherds.  And then I want to be like Mary and continually ponder in my heart all Jesus' birth means to me and hold it like a treasure, greater than any gift ever given.

May the magic of Christmas be real to all of you, may you realize the gift that God gave to all the world when He sent His Son to earth in the form of a human baby, knowing full well the sacrifice that was needed in order for us to spend eternity with Him.  This gift has no price tag and didn't come wrapped up in fancy paper, but was instead wrapped up in simple swadling cloths laying in a rough manger in a stable.  My prayer is that it thrills your heart the way it has mine this morning!

Turning 40

Celebrating 40 years of life today!! I am blessed: I have the amazing love of a good man who makes me feel cherished; two beautiful, healthy & happy children who fill my life w/ joy; parents who loved, adored & spanked me; brothers who are counted as two of my best friends; sister-in-laws who are more like sisters; friends that make me feel treasured; a body that is blessed with health most of the time and when it's not healthy my body teaches me humility. 40 is going to be amazing!!  


40!!  It's unbelievable to me because I so vividly remember those other milestone birthdays, 16, 20, 30.  It just doesn't seem possible that time is flying by as fast as it is.  On one hand it could depress me, but on the other hand I look at all that God has blessed me with in my 40 years of life and I realize what a gift it is!  I definitely feel wiser the older I get, although I have so much more to learn.  That's what's so exciting about growing older, God's never finished with us; He continues to teach, guide, shape and change me into the person He wants me to be, more like His Son!  It would be depressing if I felt like this was the end of the road, but I know that God has so much more planned for my life.


What do I plan on doing today to celebrate my birthday??  While Mike is at work and Hannah is at school, I think that Kade and I will take a drive and visit some special older ladies in my life, let them know how much I love and appreciate them.  Sara, who is grieving from the sudden loss of her 57-year-old daughter; Aunt Doris who was recently moved into an assisted living facility after a bad fall, Della who is grieving the loss of her oldest friend - her sister; and Vieva, who just turned 100 this week.  These women are precious to me, and I hope that in the next 30-60 years (if I'm anything like Vieva!) that I can leave a legacy of grit, strength, love and faith that these ladies have shown me.


Again, I am just reveling in the blessings that God have covered me with.  My family, friends, Church home, job, life,  even the trials that I have faced over the last 40-years; I wouldn't trade any of it to be 20 again - I've gained too much!

Never Forget.

It was such a  beautiful day, clear blue sky and sunshine, a gentle breeze.  I headed over to my mother-in-laws to help her get ready for our monthly Christian Women's Club Prayer Coffee at my friend Lee Ann's house.  I remember thinking, "God, thank you for days like this, when I don't have a care in the world and can think of a million little miracles and blessings that You've given me."  Barb and I were just getting ready to sit down for breakfast when Mike called.  "Turn the T.V. on Jana, we've been atttacked."  I remember thinking that surely he had to be mistaken, we've been attacked? By who?  How?  We're the United States of America for crying out loud.  Those were not words that I'd heard in my entire life, and something that I hope to never hear again - that we've been attacked.  I didn't believe it.  Then I turned on the television, and there it was, right in front of my eyes as plain as it could be, telling the story as it happened.

Barb and I watched in horror; one tower had already been hit and then another low flying plane suddenly hit the second building.  We were speechless, tears rolling down both our faces, riveted to the T.V., fear constricting my heart.  It was incomprehensible to me, I couldn't process what I was seeing.  I felt numb as I watched things falling out of the top of the World Trade Center towers and then realized that those "things" were people jumping out of the building.  I couldn't understand why they would do that; there were firemen and policemen on their way up to rescue them, why didn't they just wait for help?  But the horrors kept piling on top of eachother as we watched first one building buckle and then collapse followed by the second one.

Then the reports of a third plane flying into the Pentagon and a fourth plane crashing in a field in Pennsylvania.  My mind was whirling, where was it going to end?  Were there planes throughout the country full of suicide bombers ready to kill and destroy more lives?  Was the end of the world finally here?

I looked at my precious mother-in-law and saw terror and confusion mirrored in her eyes.  We couldn't just sit there, we needed to get out of the house.  I began to make phone calls to the other ladies in our prayer group.  We still needed to meet.  I remember the phone call to Lee Ann, she was inconsolable, wondering if we shouldn't just forget about our prayer coffee.  I told her "Lee Ann, there's nothing better or more effective that we can do right now than get together and lift up this nation to God.  We need one another and we need to take this to Him!"

We spent the morning in prayer, and then again that evening we went to a prayer gathering that one of the other local churches called.  We were all exhausted with the sensless tragedy of the entire day, the thousands of lives that had been taken, the thousands more that would never be the same.  If we here in Wyoming were feeling the immensity of this day, what were those in New York and Washington D.C. feeling?  How were they coping with the unbelievable events?

There was beauty amidst the ashes, though.  I watched in amazement as our country pulled together, truly pulled together.  For the first time that I could really remember there were no political lines, no Rebuplican or Democrat, no Left or Right.  We were just Americans, grieving together, dealing with fear and apprehension together.  Patriotism ran strong, differing politics just didn't seem to matter at the time.  I was brought to tears as our Congress sang "God Bless America" together.  God was bringing a country that was full of division and strife together.  God was doing that.  And people were turning to God, because after something like this, where else in the world are you going to turn?  Churches were filled, people were able to witness and testify to the power and strength of God more than ever because people were yearning for answers.  We were a country that felt like a family.

But I think we've forgotten.  Sure, we'll remember today, as we've been remembering all week.  There will be memorials and documentaries and our memories will come alive with the images that we witnessed 10 years ago.  But we've gone back to our secure, comfortable and easy lives and we've forgotten that it can all be taken away in an instant.  I know that I have, and I'm ashamed.  Because  despite the devastation and the destruction and the change in the New York City skyline and the families that have forever been changed and the change that has occurred in our country in terms of how we travel and how we deal with terror, God is still the same.  He never changes.  He is still in control.  "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness." Jeremiah 31:3.  "Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you."  Deuteronomy31:6.

Over the past several days we've asked one another: Do you remember?  Where were you when you heard that we were being attacked?  What were you doing & how did you process what was happening in front of your eyes? Where did you turn with your grief, fear and horror that was the result of 9/11.  Share, share your thoughts, your memories, your feelings, your fears.  Because it's in the sharing and the remembering that we keep in mind the sacrifices of  those who died that day.  Some made that sacrifice unwillingly, but others made it willingly.  We need to remember, because we still need to be committed to praying for our country and our people, as much now as ever.  Let's never forget what happened on that Tuesday morning 10 years, not to rehash the pain and terror that we felt, but to learn from how we pulled together as a nation, how we loved one another and felt eachother's pain and loss and how we turned to the God of this country and put our trust and our faith in Him.  I could say that morning, and I can still say today "God thank you for days like this, when I don't have a care in the world and can think of a million little miracles and blessings that You've given me." but I also want to add, "Please protect our country, Lord.  Make us a little more aware of what is important and a lot less concerned with what isn't.  Help us to love one another.  Bring us to a place where You are Lord, Master and King of America.  Be with those men and women who are still fighting this war with a people that hate us.  Remind us that You are in control.  Amen"

Mother's Day Tribute

What a great Mother's Day I've had!  My family has made me feel like a queen, and I've loved every minute of it!  I truly feel like the Proverbs 31 Woman whose children arise and bless her and whose husband praises her.  Thanks guys for making my job as a mom & wife so incredible, I can't imagine anything else being more important!

 One of the reasons that I feel like I can work towards being a Proverbs 31 Woman is because I was raised by one!  My mom, Jody White, is as close to fitting the description of this woman of virtuous character as I will ever find.  My mother is a loving, hard-working ranch wife, mother & grandmother who has taught me so many valuable things, the most important of which is how to prioritize my life: the Lord first and foremost, my husband second, children third & everyone else after that.  She's taught me how to enjoy the simple things in life & how to appreciate and learn from the really difficult things.  She's a living example of love in action, loving her husband, children, grandchildren and friends fiercely & tenderly at the same time.  She always puts our needs above her own, showing Jesus' love to us each time that she chooses love & humility over her own rights.

I owe who I am as a wife, mother, daughter, friend and woman to the almost 40 years of life lessons that my mother has taken the time to teach me:

Make the choice to respond to those who do & say mean things to you by "killing them with kindness".

Honey will always get you further than vinegar!

Fresh air and sunshine is the cure-all for everything from tummy aches & headaches to heartaches.

Life may not be fair, but it'll all come out in the wash!

Always remember that it is more valuable to be beautiful on the inside than on the outside.

Your talents are God's gift to you, what you do with those talents is your gift to God!

Attitude may not change difficult situations, but it sure can make them easier to handle!

  I can remember that awkward time of my life when I felt ugly, unloved & unimportant.  I felt that way for a very short period because my mom had the gift of turning it around & making me feel loved, beautiful, and accepted.  She has always been my biggest cheerleader and encourager when it came to working towards my dreams and goals.  We both share a love for writing and I know that she will never allow me to let that dream lie dormant.  One of my favorite parts of going back home is spending time with my mom in the corral!  Doing chores, discussing life & dreams and getting dirty, I love it and so does she!  My mom is also my "Titus Woman" as she is the driving force in my decision to give my life to Jesus.  Her love and desire to serve Him was a beautiful thing that I desired for myself.  Our relationship with the Lord is one of the greatest gifts that we share. 

I owe so much of who I am and what I have been able to accomplish, as well as the dangers I was able to avoid, to the prayers of my mother.  She is committed to praying for her husband, her children, grandchildren, & friends.  I know that someday when I am in heaven, God will have a storeroom full of all of my mothers prayers and I will be amazed.  The Proverbs 31 Woman describes my mother far better than I can.  This is from The Message.  I love the wording of it :

 A good woman is hard to find,
   and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
   and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
   all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
   and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
   and brings back exotic surprises.
She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast
   for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
   then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
   rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
   is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
   diligent in homemaking.
She's quick to assist anyone in need,
   reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn't worry about her family when it snows;
   their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
   and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
   when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
   brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
   and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
   and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
   and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
   her husband joins in with words of praise:
"Many women have done wonderful things,
   but you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
   The woman to be admired and praised
   is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
   Festoon her life with praises!

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you wonderful moms out there; whether you be stay-at-home moms, working moms, mothers of young children, teenagers, or adult children.  To you grandmothers who have such a role in the lives of our kids, and for those mothers who may have never had a child in your womb but are a blessing to countless children of your heart.  God loves you all!!!

Good Friday Reflections Continued.....

We just returned from the Good Friday Services at our Church and I just had to share a poem written by one of my favorite people.  Max Jennings often shares the poems that he writes with our Church family, and I've been blessed by so many of them.  It goes along so perfectly with what I posted earlier today that I just had to ask him if I could add it to my own thoughts.  Tonight was especially moving because of the fact that Max became pretty choked up as he recited this one.  I love the fact that Max so obviously feels what it would have been like to be at the cross.

Before The Cross

I imagine myself before the cross

With my Jesus hanging there,

With Roman soldiers all around 

And mockers everywhere.

Even travelers are mocking Him

A spear print in His side,

With Pharisees and Sadducees

Acting dignified.

And as I look up to my Lord

I think of all He's done,

And all the glories of Heaven He left

That my sould be won.

He suffered much at the hands of men

Deserted by His very own,

He suffered pain and anguish.  

Their sins to atone.

He lived here in a world of sin

With evil of every kind,

He was atttacked for His words 

By those who were so blind...

And yet He died for them 

As much for you and me,

They did not know who Jesus was

They were blind and could not see.

And still the people of this earth 

Are blind and refuse to see,

That Christ has given himself to be

A ransom for you and me.

Max A. Jennings

February 2003