Remembering and Honoring

                I love Memorial Weekend, mainly because it’s signals the start to summer!  We usually kick off this first weekend of the summer by taking in a little bit of the High School Rodeo where we catch up with family and friends from around the state, then we spend the remainder of the weekend at Lake DeSmet where the boys take in the annual Lion’s Club Fishing Derby, and of course lots of barbeque action!  Yes, I love all of the recreation that goes along with this weekend, but this morning as I was driving downtown I caught the beginning of the Memorial Day Service that is held every year at the Veteran’s Memorial on Main Street.  I stopped for a minute and took it all in; the flags that lined the streets of this town that I love, Veterans who visited with one another as they waited for the Veterans parade to begin, children holding flags as they sat on their mother’s laps.  It brought tears to my eyes and a flutter of emotion in my heart.

 I realized that this is what Memorial Day is about, and I’m afraid that we’ve lost the true sense of why we celebrate this weekend.  I think that we’ve turned it into a nationwide “Kick-Off To Summer” celebration instead of a time to honor and remember those who have fought and died in order that we may have the kind of life that we enjoy in this wonderful country.  We’ve taken for granted what has been given in exchange for our very freedoms.  And I don’t want to take for granted what these men and women have suffered and endured, what their families have sacrificed for me and for my family so that I can enjoy a beautiful summer day in peace, without fear.  I think of the young men and women I have known through the years who have chosen to join the military and go to places like Iraq and Afghanistan; I repeat, they have chosen to go, and I am humbled and just a little bit shamed because I don’t think that I could do it.  What an amazing thing they do for all of us, and yet we go about our days, our summer, this weekend and we forget that those who are serving right now don’t get to enjoy a long weekend with their family, they aren’t recreating on a lake or in the mountains and eating a big juicy hamburger.  And the men and women who have died, their families have a noticeable hole in their lives, a hole that will never be filled again, because of what their sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, moms and dads were willing to give up in order that we can live the life we enjoy in the United States.  Again, I am humbled.

                It’s such a picture of what Jesus did for us and all that I can think as I sit here and type away is what an incredible honor for these men and women to have the willingness to be a picture of the sacrificial love that Christ has for each and every one of us.  And like our Veterans and the men and women who are now serving our country, I think that far too often we take for granted what He gave so that we could all be free.  May we remember and honor what has been given to us, and may we not waste those freedoms, but use them to build up our families, our communities, our country on the premises of what they are fighting for, what they have died for, what Jesus came for.  Love and honor, courage and respect.  Let’s give a little bit of ourselves instead of living as if we were entitled to all that we have, let’s live beyond ourselves and not only remember, but honor those who have given so much of themselves for us.

"This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you.  This is the very best way to love.  Put your life on the line for your friends."  John 15:13 The Message

Today I Choose....

TODAY…..I choose gratitude over grumbling…..I choose to look at the sink full of dirty dishes and see a family that is well fed….I choose to look at the mountain of laundry and see a family of four who are clothed…..I choose to look at the mud and dirt on the kitchen floor and see a little boy who loves to play outside…I choose to look at the messy bathroom with clothes and towels thrown on the floor and see a beautiful and healthy teenage girl….I choose to look at my messy bed and see a husband who loves to cuddle and hold me….I choose to look at all of those “chores” that are seemingly endless and thankless and instead see blessings that are never ending and be thankful.  TODAY….I refuse to allow peace and joy to be stolen from my day because I am feeling overwhelmed.   TODAY…..I am going to choose contentment over covetousness……because I have so much to be truly grateful for  and more “stuff” is not going to fulfill my life….TODAY I choose to look for opportunities that God is putting in my path to  serve Him instead of complaining that I am of no use to Him….This is what I’m going to do TODAY……What about you?

True Love

               It’s February!!  The month of love and romance, the time of year that flower shops and card and candy manufactures look forward to and dread all at the same time.  However, at some point in my life it turned from being about romantic love and became all about the kids.  Which isn’t bad, I love showering my kids in love!  But I don’t want Mike to get lost in the shuffle because he has been my Valentine for 18 years now, and will be for years to come. I want to be sure and let him know how much I love and appreciate him.  I am so excited because this month we will actually be in Portland for Valentine’s Day and I am really looking forward to a romantic get-away with my Sweetheart!

                This post, however, is not all about how to make your Valentine’s Day more meaningful for your Sweetheart.  I do think that celebrating our love for our spouse is important, but something else has been on my heart the last couple of days.  Our church has a wonderful Children’s Program called “Kings Kids” which I am involved in.  I have been blessed in so many ways by being part of this ministry, both by the kids and by what I am learning alongside them about being a child of the King.  Each month I submit something for the Church’s Newsletter/Website that shares what we are learning with the rest of the church.  This month our theme is “The Greatest is the Least” and comes from John 13:1-35 when Jesus washed the feet of his disciples at the Last Supper. When I first started preparing for this month’s theme I really didn’t consider it to tie in with Valentine’s Day, but the more I dug into scripture and thought about it the more I realized that it fits perfectly with this holiday that celebrates love.  So I’ve shared in part what I wrote for the February Newsletter for Kings Kids:

                What does love look like in Kings Kids?  It’s putting others above ourselves, ministering to one another in joy, love and humility.  It means sharing, taking turns, being kind, helping one another and having compassion.   As Jesus was getting closer and closer to the crucifixion, he was burdened with the responsibility of sharing with his disciples what it means to love.  At the last supper he took the opportunity to show them true love in action by washing their feet, a task meant for a servant not a king. 

                Jesus wants all of us as his followers to understand that true love means considering others greater and ourselves less, to take up the bowl of water and towel and wash one another’s feet in love and humility.  I think that this is easier in theory than in action because it doesn’t come natural and it’s not what the World teaches us; but it’s what Jesus calls us to do so how can we do anything less?  So while this month will mean giving and receiving cards, flowers and candy to some, may it mean something different to those of us who belong to Christ.  This Valentine’s Day (and everyday) let’s show love by giving of ourselves in Jesus’ name.

This was so good for me, because as I was writing it and tying it in to this holiday associated with love, I came to and important realization. The best way that I can show love to my husband and my children, and really anyone who God places in my life,  is by loving them with this selfless, sacrficial type of love that comes from a servant's heart.  This is so contradictory to what the World teaches us, the examples that society gives us of love is not selfless or sacrificial, and it certainly does not require taking the role of the servant! 

 I also realize that it takes a lot of courage to love this way, it's risky to put ourselves in the postion of the servant and love in a way that is opposite of what the world says. But I am telling you that in my own experience, when I love in this way, where I am willing to  become less in order for others to become greater, Christ's love in me is increased!  And this is worth far more to me than flowers and candy!

The Return Of The Courageous Mommy

I've been gone from the blogging world for awhile.  I don't really have a good excuse other than life is incredibly busy right now with a High Schooler and a preschooler at home.  Honestly by the time I get a chance to sit down, I fall asleep! As I catch up with some of my friend's Blogs, I see that they must be in the same boat as I am because they've let months go by without blogging as well!

In all honesty I have to say that the biggest reason I haven't written on "The Courageous Mommy" blog is because I have felt less than courageous for the past several months.  Dis-"couraged" is more like it, along with defeated, disheartened, and at times in despair, but not very courageous.  I suppose that every mother goes through periods like this, but sometimes it feels like a very lonely place.  As a result I haven't felt like I am qualified to write a blog about parenting.  I've felt like a failure more often than not, have had more days that have ended in frustration and regret than in victory and confidence.  Each day that I sit down at the computer and try to figure out what I'd like to write about, I end up closing the lid on my lap top and giving up because I feel that I have nothing to offer in the way of encouragement to other mothers.  Not every day is like this, just too many of them.

So, what has propelled me to write tonight?  Just the realization that this is life, part of a phase that I am going through as a mom; and maybe, just maybe, others will gain as much from my experiences of failure and discouragement as they will from my experiences of victory and joy in motherhood.  Maybe even more so. 

Why am I feeling discouragement and defeat?  Because I am the mother of a teenage girl and I can't do anything right in her eyes right now.  And I am the mother of a preschool boy that never stops... never stops moving, never stops talking....unless the t.v. is on.....and the t.v. has been on a lot lately.  I feel like most days are spent either arguing with Hannah or apologizing to her.  Most nights are a literal fight to get Kade to bed.  I feel like most nights I go to bed close to tears and feeling like a failure, wondering how I should have handled certain situations differently.  Each morning I wake up with a new perspective and determination, spending time in Quiet study of God's Word, reflection and prayer.  And then my family starts waking up and I begin making those mistakes all over again.

I look at other mothers in my sphere of influence and it seems like they have it all together; they have good relationships with their teenage daughters, they have a handle on their young son's or daughter's energy and enthusiasm (or they at least have enough energy and enthusiasm themselves to handle it).  They don't forget orthodontic appointments, or show-and-share at preschool.  They don't talk too much and therefore irritate and annoy their teenagers.  So many of them are preparing beautiful, nutritious meals and then sharing them on Pinterest or Facebook, while more often than not I am serving cold cereal or hamburger helper because that's all I have the energy for.  I'm sure that no other parent eats their words more often than I do.  I don't see any other mothers embarrass their kids, but I seem to do it every time that I open my mouth!  I have a hard time imagining other mothers being as cranky as I am. I describe myself as "prickly" because that's what it feels like to me and my family; like if anyone gets close enough to me they're gonna get poked! And I've often convinced myself that I am alone in my fear that I am irrevocably messing up the lives of my children by the mistakes that I am making as their mother.  OK so realistically I know that other moms are struggling every bit as much as I am; but oh how it feels like I am all alone in this challenging phase of parenting!

So, even though I am feeling overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy and insufficiency, why am I choosing to write now?  It's not so I can complain and bemoan my life in order to gain sympathy (trust me, I know that most of you will either say "Me too!" or "Toughen up Mama, this is life!"); but it's so that through my discouragement others may find encouragement.  Because deep down I know that I'm not alone in all of these feelings.  And I do know that this too shall pass.  Maybe at that point, the point where Mike and I are old and grey and our kids are grown and raising kids of their own, I will be able to lend some wisdom, but right now all that I can offer is empathy and support.

Because I know that ultimately none of us is adequate or sufficient to handle this responsibility given to us.  Without the Lord and His wisdom and grace I know that I can't move forward but will be stuck in a parenting rut where fear and despair take over.  This isn't what I want for me or for my children.  I want an abundant life for my family, where we are intentional about the life that we lead, where we respond to one another and not react, where we are guided by love and respect for eachother and not selfishness and pride. 

I know that I've been in a pit for a while, and I also know that I don't need to remain in that pit.  God has given me the tools that I need to live life and make the choices that I need to make in order to insure that we are living for His plans and purposes.  Each day is a matter of making those choices and using those tools that He's given to me.  We all have struggles that we are dealing with, some are much more serious than having a teenager and preschooler in the house.  I know that there are some of you who are facing health problems or behavioral problems with your kids, some of you are dealing with difficulties in your marriage or financial hardship.  Life is a struggle, but it's also good and I feel that goodness when my little boy wraps his arms around my neck and tells me that I am his best friend, or when Hannah and I have a long conversation about things that are deep and meaningful, or when Mike and I take advantage of the quiet and can just be in eachother's company. The only way to gain victory in the ups and downs of life is with courage.  I refuse to lose courage just because life gets a little rough!  So the Courageous Mommy is back, hopefully with as much grit and determination as ever!

Guest Blog.....May is Pregnancy Awareness Month

Did you know that May is Pregnancy Awareness Month?  I did not, but was made aware of it by a fellow blogger, Katie Moore.  Katie writes a blog called "Moore from Katie" which covers everything from motherhood, DIY projects, fashion, baking and healthy living.  One thing that Katie is passionate about is new life, I love that, because I too am passionate about life and especially when it comes to that  miraculous gift of new life.  So I was honored when Katie found my blog and asked if she could be a guest contributor on "The Courageous Mommy".  Of course I jumped at the offer because the first step in that courageous journey of motherhood is pregnancy.  If you are currently expecting or have recently made the decision to begin the process of starting a family, or even if you are like me and are through with having babies but like to reminisce about that amazing time of your life, you will enjoy this article.  And be sure and check out Katie's Blog, she's got a lot of really great stuff on it!

Preparing for the Big Delivery Day.....Guest Blog by Katie Moore

Labor and delivery can be a highly anticipated time for expectant mothers. A variety of emotions, ranging from a few nerves too much excitement to confidence, can be present. The truth is no matter how prepared a mother feels going into labor and delivery; she should be open to the idea that inevitably something will surprise her. To better help prepare for the experience consider these suggestions.

Attend Classes

A mom-to-be can find some solace in her preparations for the unpredictable experience by educating herself; one way to do so is to attend a childbirth class. There are several different birthing methods, some considered more natural than others. Talk to your ob/gyn too about birthing options. He or she can help choose a method and birthing plan that is right for you.

Many new moms assume that breastfeeding is natural and easy, but many obstacles early on can cause physical and emotional stress to both mom and her newborn. Taking a class can help clear up any questions that you have and give you some good tricks to help. The Internet also provides education through pregnancy websites on topics you’d cover in a class.

Pack for the Hospital

Packing your hospital bag early can prevent new mothers from forgetting essential items, like a change of clothes, a "take home" outfit for the newborn. Other items to consider packing are toiletries, a book or movie for entertainment or to relax during down time, or any additional items that will help you feel comfortable during your stay.

There are also several decisions to be made before the newborn arrives. Selecting a pediatrician is an important one. Hospitals will have the pediatrician perform all of the necessary tests and screenings before they go home to make sure they’re not at risk for certain infant diseases. In trying to plan for the future health of your baby, an option to consider is cord blood banking. With cord blood banking families choose the collect and save the umbilical cord blood that remains after birth. The cord blood is then stored at a facility for potential use to treat future medical disease.

Although the labor and delivery experience can’t be mapped out, an expectant mother can educate herself in order to prepare for the decisions she’ll need to make and the exciting moments that will bring her newborn into the world.

"This article was written by Katie Moore. Katie is an active writer within the blogging community who discusses maternity, motherhood, prenatal health, childbirth and other topics within this niche.  If you have any questions or would like to connect with Katie please contact by visiting her blog, Moore From Katie or her twitter @moorekm26."

Roots and Wings

My Aunt Linda has a sign that has hung in her bathroom for as long as I can remember, it says something like this: "Two of the greatest gifts that we can give to our children are roots and wings." As a kid growing up and visiting my Aunt and Uncle I didn't get it.  Roots and wings?  What was the significance of giving your kids roots and wings?  I really didn't think that I would be too thrilled if my parents gave me a gift wrapped tree root for my birthday or an eagle feather in my Christmas stocking! When Mike and I got married we moved closer to my Aunt Linda and when Hannah was born it was my Aunt who watched her when I went back to work.  By that time I realized that the sign wasn't referring to literal roots and wings, but figurative ones because these are the gifts that my Mom & Dad gave to me!  If  parents raise their kids with the deep roots of faith, love, family, moral and ethical values that give children the foundation and courage they need then when the time is right they can give their children the gift of wings as they prepare to "fly the coop" and venture out on their own.  The reality of these words have never meant more to me than they have in the past year.

 Two and a half weeks ago Mike, Kade and I kissed Hannah goodbye and sent her on a bus with 19 other classmates and two teachers. They were headed to Denver and then getting on a plane and heading to Costa Rica. My 14-year-old daughter was leaving the country - without her father or I!  Trust me when I say that it took me two years to get used to the idea of her going so far away without us.  This is a trip that the Junior High 8th grade class has been doing for years.  Up to 20 kids are selected in the spring of their 7th grade year, spend a year raising the money to go and then spend about 10 days in this beautiful country studying the environment, ecology and the people.  It's an amazing opportunity for these kids, most of whom have never left the United States.  But as a parent of a 6th and even 7th grader, the idea of it is just a tad overwhelming!  Last spring we found out that Hannah had been one of the 20 kids selected to go on this huge trip.  She was beyond excited, I was beyond terrified!  Every possible scenario that had a horrible ending went through my mind; everything from the plane going down over the ocean, to her contracting some horrible sickness from the bugs and critters over there!  I even got my passport right alongside her on the off chance that she was going to need her mother to fly to Costa Rica and bring her home because she was so homesick! (ok, that might be a little bit of an exaggeration; I did get my passport just in case there was an accident or an illness that would require me to bring her home, but I knew without a doubt that she was not going to be homesick!).

 As the summer months filled up with money making activities, I began to settle down a little and really become excited for her.  I knew that the experience of visiting another country was going to be incredible, but even the process of getting there was proving to be filled with invaluable life lessons!  Like when we ordered the Costa Rican coffee that she sold.  When she had to actually pay for the coffee out of the money she had already earned she cried, not understanding why she had to fork over such a large summ of money when the whole idea was to raise it, not spend it!  A few weeks later I informed her that any coffe she sold from that point on was pure profit; that was an "aha moment"!  And she worked her little hiney off raising the $3,000 dollars needed for the trip. She cleaned yards, houses, and doggy doodoo.  She helped with parking at a soccer tournament.  She sold sandwhiches at the local IGA.  She babysat and filed for a law office.  She cleaned her Dad's office.  She cowboyed for her Grandpa.  She sold raffle tickets for a painting and her extra 4-H pig (which, by the way, was the most painful thing she did to raise funds!).  She learned the value of having a goal and making a plan to reach it.

And then there was the planning and the anticipation that consumed an entire year!  One day a few months ago out of the blue, Hannah looked at me and said, "Can you believe how incredibly blessed I am  to be 14-years-old and going out of the country with my best friends!"  Yes Hannah, it is indeed a blessing!  About a month before she left we had a parent meeting where immunizations were given, passports were checked and prescriptions for anti-malaria medication were discussed.  It became very real at that point!!

Hannah will need to share her experiences with a post and pictures sometime real soon; it was a pretty amazing adventure!  The point of my writing today is from the view point of a parent gifting her child with roots and wings.  Both are so important to the growth and maturity of our children, but it's a balance.  You can't give one and not the other, not if we want our kids to become strong members of society who will make their own way on this journey of life, influencing those who they come into contact with for the better.  If we give one without the other we will either end up with children who are strongly tied to their families and homes, but don't have the courage, self assurance and wisdom to venture out on their own.  If we give them their wings too soon then we will have children who will be bombared by a society that will eat them alive.  I think that it's such a temptation to go to the extreme one way or the other.  On one hand to try and keep our kids tied to us for as long as possible, wanting to protect them, keeping them safe from all of the scary stuff out there in the real world.  Sometimes it's with the misconception that if we keep them grounded with strong roots but no wings then we are protecting them from anything that might harm them.  But then we clip their wings and stunt their growth and keep them from all of the wonderful things that God has in store for them.  I read once that our biggest responsiblity to our children is not in keeping them safe, but in preparing them for the life that God has prepared for them, to give them the courage to figure out who they are, where they are going and what kind of an impact they are going to make in our world and for Him and His glory.  On the flip side, I see far too many kids that have been given their wings entirely too soon, before they are ready and have the knowledge and resources needed to know how to use their wings appropriately.  We see kids who are too eager to grow up and leave home and try and tackle life's responsibiities on their own.  That's a train wreck waiting to happen if you ask me.

It's a balance and I'm learning to walk that fine line.  Again, I look to God and His word to give me wisdom in knowing when to gift my children with roots, holding them back until they are ready, and when to go ahead and let them try their wings a little!  James 1:5 tells us to ask Him for wisdom whenever we want, and He will give it and not hold back!  I don't need to worry about lacking in the wisdom department, because God gives it away generously!  I am so thankful for that, and thankful for my children who are continueing to teach me these great lessons.  And thankful for parents who gifted me with roots and wings.  And thankful for the sign that still hangs in my Aunt Linda's bathroom to remind me that some of the greatest gifts that we give our kids have no price tags and require no gift wrapping!

Spring Has Sprung!

Spring is in the air, well actually spring is in the air one day and the next wind and rain and snow is in the air. Such is Springtime in Wyoming. The kids and I just spent a wonderful weekend with Mom and Dad on their new place in Lusk. Calving is going full bore on The White Ranch, babies were bounding all over the place. I love calving season, and even helped by taking the early morning heifer check; it brought back lots of memories of being out in the brisk, early morning air with just the stars to keep me company as I made my check of all these first time mamas. I always enjoyed the peace and quiet of this early morning check, but that was back when we raised Hereford cattle and they weren't at all bothered by my intrusion into their maternity ward. Not so much these crossbreed cattle that Dad now has, these girls were not at all impressed with me intruding in on them. Several times I felt the breath of a nervous heifer in my back pocket, not a very comforting feeling! The kids were ecstatic when Grandpa brought a premie calf to the house to bottle feed for a couple of days. Kade called him "Calfee", not real original, but it stuck! They loved my story of all of the babies that Dad has brought into the house over the years to thaw out in the bath tub, and especially the one that stayed for a long enough time that Grandma had to make a diaper out of a large garbage bag for him. It made for great conversation when company stopped by! The only part of calving that I'm not enjoying is night calving for Mike. It's been a long couple of months for all of us and I can't wait for this month to be over so that he'll be home every night! It sure has put some things I perspective for me though, like the fact that I am so unbelievably grateful that I don't do this parenting thing alone. I have such a greater appreciation for what single parents go through. And I have a much greater appreciation for all of the things that my amazing husband does for me. I'm going to try real hard to make sure that I tell him this more often. I am also so appreciative of the fact that my kids get to experience ranch life at it's most real; even if we're not on a ranch full time, we do get to enjoy the lifestyle and that means so much to me. So much of who I am I owe to being brought up as a ranch kid, there really is nothing like it. Our Ag kids learn good work ethics, responsibility, respect for the land and what it produces, what it means to work together as a family to accomplish a common goal, as well as how to play together as a family. Calving season is such a great example of this, along with a couple of months of running on little to no sleep! More than anything calving season is just another wonderful reminder of God's plan for our lives because it means new life. New life is at the heart of what we all are ultimately seeking, and it's found in Jesus; "I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live even though they die." John 11:25. I love that on the ranch I can see God's fingerprints everywhere!